You know, you may be wondering what my situation is here. Do I even play current generation games? Is my name really Retroplayer? Where do I live? I’m sure there are many questions buzzing around you little heads. I currently live in the attic of the TGL building. Yes, I know, it’s quite sad really. Joseph and Shane lock me up here with some food, internet access and, most importantly to this article, old games and systems. I have every retro piece of software and hardware you could every want. I have a Dreamcast currently up against a hole in the wall to keep the rats out and a Snes moonlighting as a makeshift toilet seat. I have it all, man. I have fish heads in the morning and leftovers from a takeaway in the evening. So, whenever Joseph and Shane are finished with a game they use a stick to open the hatch in the attic and hurl the game up into my sleazy domain. Sure, I get some great games and I’m sure you read about them here on these articles from time to time but sometimes they give me games that, well, aren’t exactly the greatest example of human creativity. I have two games here in front of me that are truly horrendous. They’re games that shouldn’t have been made or even conceived. The developers should have been dragged into a cornfield like Joe Pesci in Casino and well, you know what happened next to him. Ah, Joe Pesci, we hardly knew ye.