Hello, dear readers, Retroplayer here. It begins. The battle of the year, no, strike that, the century begins. Both will battle but only one will taste sweet sweet victory as if it was sweat poured from Patrick Stewarts armpit directly into a jewel encrusted golden goblet hand crafted by Harrison Ford himself. Fanboys will cry, cheer and refresh many a web page in anticipation. Yes, dear readers, the battle of Kinect vs Move begins. Beware. Lets take a look at how Microsoft, Sony and us gamers fit into the equation.
Is that crazy enough for ya’? Want me to take a shit on the floor?
Today I was checking out N4G.com and I just had enough. Sure, I like N4G for a quick source of news and at times we pop our stuff up there too. However, the sheer level of hate and fanboyism on N4G is outstanding, simply outstanding. First and foremost the arguments regarding the Kinect and Move usually start out like this.
PS3 fan- “The Kinect looks shit and like Kevin Butler says about using your finger to shoot, `What is this…3rd grade? Pew Pew Pew!” LOLz”
Xbox fan- “Move is shaped like a fucking dick, dude…you know, the big head and that.”
Then BAM! The arguments begin and it’s pure insanity. Yeah, just like watching fanboys it can be good for a laugh and a half but it slowly gets depressing to the point where you seriously wonder about your fellow gamers. And yeah, I know at the heart of it many of these gamers are young and naive but it does make us all look like a bunch of obsessed slippery half-breeds. Like the old saying goes, dear readers, they’re as crazy as a shithouse rat. Beyond the obsessive fan boys is you. I’ll assume that you, the person reading this right now, is not a fanboy, can think for themselves and, well, for the most part keeps an open mind when it comes to both pieces of technology. I mean let’s face it, until any one of us plays both of them we can’t really say which one is truly better.
White line’s in the middle of the road, that’s the worst place to drive
Both the Move and Kinect are going directly over the heads of casual gamers. Whereas upon the launch of the Wii casual gamers were falling over themselves in anticipation to get their hands on one its seems that, with the Kinect and Move, casual gamers simply don’t care. Then again, at least Sony are trying to aim it at “normal” gamers. Microsoft, however, are taking aim for the casual market top the point where it comes across clunky and hamfisted. Recently, Justin Bieber, that little cherub we all know and love, had a video of himself playing Kinect as an intro to his world tour. Check out the video below and notice as the longer they show him playing Kinect the cheering of the 13-15 year old girls quietens down. They don’t care about Kinect. They just came to see a concert not to have a Microsoft ad smeared in their little sprog faces. It all feels too wholesome, too squeaky clean. Hell, I’ll hand it to them for trying to take the reigns of the casual gaming market but I feel like they’re going about it the wrong way. It’s almost as if Microsoft didn’t even learn a lesson from their E3 performance which, for any of you who may have forgotten, was filled with Brady Bunch styled acting performances and little or no content that real gamers wanted to see. It feels too fake, plastic and way too safe. They don’t really feel daring in they’re marketing tactics and I find myself not getting too hyped about the Kinect. Since trying it for myself back in May I’m still quite optimistic about what they can pull out of the bag. Time will tell though.
Sue me, dickhead
Sony on the other hand are taking a different stance. Instead of aiming it toward casual gamers they’re aiming it towards us, apparently. However, it seems most of their PR machine is behind the gaming wonder that is Kevin Butler. Ah, Kevin Butler. He’s Sonys mouth piece and their way of basically slagging Microsoft and getting away with it. He’s the obscure, crazzzeee and a hip dude that they’re selling off to us gamers and, most of us I think, have fallen for it hook, line and sinker. It all kinda stinks to me. Whether it’s duping us gamers with a fake blog or parading characters like Kevin Butler or Marcus Rivers in front of us it never feels real. Hell, as a gamer I’d much prefer to see a real person who works in Sony to be some kind of figure head of Move rather than some gimmick character created, packaged and sold to us like they’re magic beans. At the end of the day a character like Kevin Butler is merely just that- a character. It stinks to the same effect that was the sham of an event Microsoft held for Kinect prior to E3 this year. It’s slight of hand. And yeah, I know a lot will disagree with that but, as just like going to the toilet, it’s better out than in as I always say.
Don’t get me wrong, dear readers. Much like when talking politics it’s easy to get roped up in a heated debate where the mentality turns to `my team against yours`. It happens to us all. But once you take away that aspect of it, take a breather and try and get yourself a little more level headed it becomes a little silly, doesn’t it? I’ve been there before. I’ve read all about the Playstation v Saturn. I’ve seen all the little jabs before, the swipes companies take on each other. It’s like two schoolboys picking on each other. However, in this case it’s two multi billion dollar companies picking on each other. Right now, as we speak, Nintendo bigwigs are watching all of this nonsense from their mega towers of destruction, counting their billions gathered off the backs of oblivious casual gamers who aren’t even paying attention to the Move or Kinect fight despite what Sony and Microsoft might think or hope. Nope. It’s just falling on deaf ears and directly into your face. And that, at the very heart of it, is hilarious. Let me tell you a little secret, dear readers. Both Move and Kinect can exist together. They can both do their own unique things that the other cannot and from experience I can tell you that both seem to be wonderful creations that, at the very least, will open up a new platform for creativity in gaming for each platform. Lets not take this so seriously, eh? When this all blows over and both Move and Kinect have a steady fanbase we’ll look back at this time and laugh. It’s happened before and it’ll happen again. Funny, it seems like the games industry doesn’t change that much after all.
Begin EPIC battle music now!