Please Note- The above image has nothing to do with the content of this article whatsoever. I choose the image because I’m sick of the E3 logo and because this image is awesome. That’s it.

The major news from E3 has come and gone and the internet is buzzing with news that is both shocking and exciting. As we speak fanboys are fighting, flaming and are at each others throats across the internet. The Xbox fanboys say Gabe Newell sold out, the Sony fanboys are denouncing the Kinect while the Nintendo fanboys, well, they’re keeping to themselves actually. Fanboys, yes, fanboys are furiously posting on message boards across the internet to vent their opinion on what just went down over the last few days. However, for most of us sane gamers we can now view it all with a clear head. So, without further ado here’s how I feel about E3 2010. Oh and feel free to give your own opinions on each news conference in the comments below! I really want to hear your thoughts on what happened, guys!

Microsoft- Gee Marsha, these videogames are wizard!

Microsofts pre-E3 Natal Experience event was locked behind closed doors. Exciting. However, when news began to trickle out via twitter about what was going down my level of excitement dropped dramatically. Tweets from inside the event revealed pictures of attendees forced to wear bizarre white ponchos before entering the event. As the bemused attendees entered the event, now wearing their Heavens Gate ponchos,  they were dazzled by actors moving to pre-recorded Kinect game play and a performance by Cirque de Soleil. But this was a pre-E3 event. Surely the main event would be geared towards real gamers. Right? The main E3 event opened with some pretty nice footage of Call of Duty: Black Ops. OK, we’re off to a good start, Microsoft. Keep it going. Then Hideo Kojima came onto the stage. Lovely! Kojima ran off the stage as quick as he came on  but the footage of Metal Gear: Rising was very special indeed. My jaw hit the floor when the in game footage of the game was shown. The dynamic cutting put the hairs on the back of my neck on end. It looked extremely special indeed. However, I still have reservations about how widely it can be used throughout the game until I see more footage.

OK good stuff, Microsoft. I’m sold already. Then the coverage of Kinect began and it’s were all the problems are. My biggest gripe with their E3 coverage were the people who were playing Kinect. From that slippy chinned annoying beefed up workout master that would put Arnie to shame to the girl doing the video chat with her twin sister. It all reeked of cheesiness. I didn’t feel it was aimed towards gamers in the slightest. No. It was aimed towards non-gamers and casual-gamers to pretty much say, `Hey! Yeah you! You can get workout games here too! If you do you’ll be as happy as us!`, with very wooden, glossy and fake acting performances. For the next hour plus they cycled their way through multiple games that never seemed to inspire. They also seemed to do the impossible. They actually successfully made the script worse which got to the point where it sounded like a scene from The Brady Bunch. You know, so freakishly wholesome to the point where it makes you feel slightly ill. I don’t want my E3 conferences to be fuzzy, chirpy and wholesome. No. I want them just about games. I want someone on stage being genuine about what they are presenting. I want to connect with the presenters, laugh at their gags and feel apart of what they’re offering me. Even the redesign of the Xbox, while absolutely stunning, didn’t really leave a mark on me much at all. Even now while typing this I feel morally drained after being so impressed from when I got to try it out.

When I played Kinect I thought it was extremely fun and, to tell you the truth, I still have a feeling that Microsoft will give us something very special indeed when it arrives in November. However, they need to rethink their PR strategy. Their E3 conference was bad and I’m truly disappointed I feel that way. If only they showed Kinect in less of a cheesy way, showed off Milo and focused less on impressing casual gamers I think it would have been a blast. But sadly it didn’t live up to what it should have been. Oh well. I guess it was Microsofts turn to have a bad E3. Sony had E3 2006, Nintendo had E3 2008 and Microsoft had E3 2010.

Nintendo- The Winner?

I don’t own a Wii or a DS. However, that being said I strongly feel that Nintendo hit a home run with their E3 event. It was fun, informative, genuine and first and foremost had me enjoying it for being a nice chunk of entertainment. While Miyamoto had some trouble with the Wii due to wireless devices in the room the game play footage of Zelda: Skyward Sword was beautiful. Looking like a merge between Wind Waker’s clean and sharp textures and Twlight Princess’s character design the game was a nice shift in gear after Microsoft showed off the likes of the dark Killzone 3 and the generically murky Gears of War 3. While the Wiimote’s capabilities are starting to look a little less impressive next to the Playstation Move that didn’t retract from Miyamoto showing his stuff using both the Wiimote and nunchunk as a sword and shield.

There was one gaming disappointment for me though. I can’t really get hyped up for Goldeneye. Sure, I played the original back in the day and loved it. Sure, it was one of the best FPSs I’ve ever played even to this day. Sure, I always wanted a remake. However, what I didn’t want was Eurocom, a company who do mostly movie tie-ins, to helm the project. In the best case scenario I would have wanted have Rare remaking their own game for Xbox Live Arcade rather than redesigning the whole game mechanic and updating it for a modern audience. I know, it’s much too early to form an opinion but I don’t think this will end well at all.

For me the best announcement of the Nintendo conference, and of E3, was the Nintendo 3DS. While it is impossible to truly experience it without seeing it first hand I can officially say that I’m already sold. With the likes of Ocarina of Time, Snake Eater and Pilot Wings making their way to it in 3D it got me so pumped like nothing in gaming before. You see, I never feel like this. I’m a gamer but never quite get so excitement me to the point of almost peeing myself. Now I do though. I’m looking forward to trying the 3DS myself but for now all we can do is read first hand reports of the system online which sound pretty promising. Since the DS came out nothing has really pushed me into buying one but now with a larger screen, thumb stick, 3D, more powerful graphics and an upcoming game selection that should be quite interesting I think it’s safe to say that the 3DS is something to keep your eye on.

Oh and who’s idea was it to attach the 3DS’s to female models? Seriously? Models? 3DS’s attached to a models hip? Yeah, that’s not awkward at all! When they paraded out those poor girls I laughed as flocks of neck bearded gamers were licking their lips and rubbing their sweating palms on their Thundercats t-shirts. I’m sure it was awkward for all involved though. What are you supposed to do in that situation? Stand there and make sure the girl doesn’t get away? Microsoft gave away Xboxs to a legion of gamers and Nintendo let gamers play a 3DS attached to a models hip. Sony would have to bring out the big guns, guys.

Nintendo also presented a good few games for the Wii but I’ll be honest in saying that while they did it perfectly fine I’m still not sold on the Wii. I dunno, I just find it hard to be excited about it. I’m not going to talk about anything that I don’t have a clue or opinion about as it would be dishonest of me.  However, like I said they did a great job overall and for all the Nintendo fans out there I think they did them proud. Good job, Nintendo!

Sony- Kevin Butler, god of fanboys

Sony opened with an impressive look at Killzone 3. It had smooth visuals, explosive combat and was a feast for the eyes. From someone who has never played both Killzone 1 or 2 I can say that it peaked my interests somewhat into at least trying the first two games. However, after Killzone there was a bit of a lull in the coverage. For a good 20 minutes there was nothing to get excited about until Kevin Butler made his way out onto the stage. At that moment PS3 fanboys must have had pleasure fits across the globe. Their god, paid actor Kevin Butler, was there! It cut to the crowd as a sea of goatees awaited his wise words. But hey, I’ll admit that the guy was funny. Hell, he was extremely funny and likeable to the point where he just might have been the best part of their event. But when all is said and done we have to realise that while Kevin Butler is funny he’s kinda like marketing concoction by Sony to have free reign to make sly remarks about the competitors. Having Kevin Butler make fun of Kinect goes down better compared to as if Ken Kutaragi did it for instance . Kevin Butler appeals to me so I’m not ragging on him at all. Jerry Lambert, who plays the fictional character Kevin Butler, does a superb job but I feel it all comes across a bit underhanded.

Sony showed off a game using the Move called Sorcery. While looking like a basic Harry Potter-esque clone it did manage to show off how precisely accurate the Move was. Using the Move as a wand and firing spells I was quite impressed with how responsive it was. Now, if only that was a lightsaber. A man can dream though… a man can dream. They also dated and priced the Move which is were I think Sony blew Microsoft out of the water. Pricing at €59 for the basic package out in September Sony sucker punched Microsoft with this news. I wasn’t expecting to be so hyped up for the Move but after that news I very much interested in seeing how it pans out. Sony did a great job on detailing us on everything we wanted to know so their Move coverage didn’t really disappoint me at all, personally.

After that great news something happened that no one could have foreseen. After a short intro by GlaDOS Vavle’s Gabe Newell came onto the stage to tell us how Portal 2 will make its way to the PS3 with Steamworks support making it, in Gabes words, the best version on a console. Gabe looked pretty nervous on stage. I don’t blame him though. In front of him was a sea of PS3 fans and considering he once commenting on the PS3 saying, “they should just cancel it and do a do over”, he looked like a rabbit in the headlights. The internet was, and still is, buzzing with Xbox fanboys foaming at the mouth, PS3 fanboys having a new love for Gabe Newell as its all turned into one giant cluster fuck of fanboyism. I think a lot of people are making too big of a deal about this. He just announced Portal 2 on the PS3. That’s all. It’ll still be on the Xbox and PC. Many on the Half Life forums have said he “sold his soul”. Bullshit. It’s only a game. Personally, I think he realised that it’s smarter to support both consoles upon release rather than doing a shitty conversion on the PS3 a year later. But hey, that’s just me.

To finish off the event David Jaffe showed off the latest Twisted Metal game with game character Sweet Tooth in tow. Being a huge fan of Twisted Metal 2 back in the day and spending hours upon hours on the Paris level I’m pretty exited about it. It looks like it should be a lot of fun and when watching the footage it evoked the feelings I had for the second one. I just hope it pays off. Overall Sony did a good job for E3. If they’d have cut out the useless chatter it would have been  better but for what it was they did quite a respectable job.

Now, after covering E3 with the rest of TGL I’m sick of talking about games. That’s it, I’m done. I’m not reading about games until next week. The gaming part of my mind is fried and all burnt out. Jesus, I don’t know how people do this for a living. However, I do want to hear your thoughts, dear readers! So go ahead. Was E3 2010 everything you wanted it to be?

The views and opinions expressed by “Retroplayer” do not necessarily express or reflect the views and / or opinions of The Gaming Liberty.